I have met 2 interesting men in the last 3 months that I was willing to focus on and take a chance with. The first one an actor intially told me there was a chance he was moving back to Vancouver so I have to give him credit for that. But it was not fair for him to pull me into his world when he knew he was going to leave anyway.
A couple months ago I met Mike online. We had some deep conversations and then he disappeared for a while. this worked out since Tim came into my life anyway. The day I reactivated my profile on the dating site Mike found me again. Things had gotten busy with work and he had never stopped thinking about me and he was so happy that he found me again. I had also been looking for him and hopeful that I would see him on the site again too.
So this was our chance. we met for a great coffee and it felt wonderful he had a great job, a religious background that didn’t really clash with my spiritual background. Lots of friends and family that he is close too. His profile said non smoker, social drinker,no drugs. On our second date he was telling his sister Carmen about me and how wonderful i was. By the third date he was talking about how he could see falling in love with me. I was happy. He wasn’t really on the dating site anymore which was also a good sign to me. He was electrician who had been with the same company for over 15 years. He had come out of a long term marriage 4 years ago. He had 2 adult children that he supports financially and lots of friends too. He likes to laugh , he dances and he had not been in a relationship for 2 years and was ready for one.
Then Saturday night I learned a lot about him, he drank a fair amount and a lot came out of him…to his credit he became honest with me.
1. Carmen is not his sister , she is in fact one of his best friends that he met on the dating site but never had romantic relationship with.
2. He smokes….not once did i see that in our first 3 encounters. He claims that its only when he is drinking….I might be able live with that.
3. He was not friendly to my friends Saturday night. That hinted to me that he was very uncomfortable in his skin and was also a red flag to me.
4. When I dropped him off at his place .he told me that his van was in the driveway. Which tells me that he has likely lost his license for some reason and that he had not actually given it to his son.
So here I am Tuesday, he won’t return my calls. Iwanted a chance to ask him about whether he was caught drinking and driving ,I am certain its because he knows he told me way more than he should have saturday and now he is likely to nervous to talk to me.
I always tell people to be honest with me, I would have been willing to accept that he hit a rough patch and that this was a temporary blip in his life. But with him not returning my calls now the odds of things working out are looking very slim….and i suspect this is more than just a blip…
Life is too short to waste on living a lie….I will happily go back to single status and enjoy dancing with my Shannon and dating men who have stayed my friends over the last 6 months….those are honest men who know they are not ready for relationships.
Two men too good to be true!
bye bye Mike.