Regardless of my admissions of a junk food addiction and dermatillomania I want my readers to know I am not insecure about my beauty!
I got a new haircut this past weekend, I took a risk and let a friend of a friend guide the process. So I now have 3 colours in my hair and a ton of layers and I can’t wait to get out dancing Saturday night to show it off!
I dance as often as I can, I go with one of my very best friends; Shannon. Shannon is smaller than me but she was totally surprised by the number of men watching her and I dancing in the clubs. This is my inspiration for today’s post and only my view.
In my 20’s and into my 30’s I did believe that being overweight equalled being unattractive. If I could turn back time I would tell my younger self not to cry. I met a man who changed my views by making me feel beautiful , I will always be thankful he came into my life.
When I divorced I was worried about entering the singles market. I was overweight and I had scars on my body. I considered losing weight before I started dating and realized if someone could not love me for me as I was , then I was better off anyway.
It is completely shocking to overweight woman when they start online dating and find that many men are attracted to larger women. This is not something men would generally admit to their buddies, this is not something society approves of either. Many men regardless of their appearance want the feeling of a heavier woman, they think we are softer, and we are more confident then many of the slimmer ladies. Men have told me that they are scared to break a slim lady. They will tell me that curves are sexy and they will meet me anytime.
The real difference is that men are less secure about having a relationship with a heavier woman. That means admitting to family and friends and society that they are different in their views. I totally understand this and hope one day this will mean that heavier people are accepted in society more easily.
I am not an advocate for being heavy,thats not my point. I am fully aware of the health issues and the longer term risks I am taking. Only making the point that what society says about what is attractive is very different from the reality.
I will find the man who will love me as I am now.