One of the biggest evolutional changes in my life is stopping a habit that has been part of my entire life. My name is Michelle and I am a Rescuer!
At the age of 3, I tried to stop my dad from hitting my mother. At the age of 8, I hid my sister in a closet to prevent her from seeing violence in my family. I rescued myself at 17 by leaving my mother’s home. Up until the age of 30 I tried to rescue my mother from mental illness. If I could only make her happy I was sure she would get better. My father wanted me to rescue him from a sex addiction in my 20’s. I tried but I felt so awkward about this request. My family NEVER understood boundaries. My sister seemed to pull her life together in her early 20’s but after giving birth to her first child she got very sick. For the last 11 years I have felt so much pain on her behalf as I have watched her world fall apart in so many ways. Sadly, I am not ready to come back into her life I need to make sure I understand boundaries and how to apply them to my relationship with her. I cannot rescue her from the life that she has been given. In my heart I feel she needs that rescuing, and she has always needed that. I do not expect her to change. I know I cannot ask her to do that. The only way I can be in her life is if I can find a way inside me to disconnect from the strong need to be her rescuer. This disappoints and devastates some of my family but it is the right choice for me until I can see the best way to be in her life without losing my own identity.
This has happened with Men I have dated too. One who seemed to have the worst luck in the world, I thought if I gave him somewhere to stay for a few weeks it would give him the boost he needed to pull it together. Of course, he did nothing to improve his life. He lied to me and stole from me.
Friends, yup lots that I have played that rescuer role with, guiding them to leave bad relationships, on how to fix bad relationships. I told them how to deal with family members and how to deal with money issues.
Emergencies are my specialty, house fire, a cancer diagnosis; I know how to pull everyone together to make sure that the things that need to happen will happen.
Men and women always seem to want me to help them; I know I set off the vibe to make sure they know that I will. I have traditionally offered up my heart and soul to help someone in need.
Today things are different. When someone clearly needs direction or a rescue, I offer personal coaching as a service. This does one of two things, if they are ready to change and improve their lives I get a new client. If they are not ready or really interested in fixing their lives they leave me alone, the last thing they want is to have me ask them for money again.
Today I take care of me and my direct family first. This is thanks in large part to Brandon Krieger who has gently guided me through all the emotional garbage that has been holding me back. I am writing my life story and that has allowed me to slowly deal with each tragedy that happened in my life and see the impact they have had in my current life. Brandon Krieger is my personal holistic life coach and I highly recommend having a guide in your life to be accountable too.
I will love you and support you but if you want to be rescued I charge 50.00 per hour now.