I am realizing that for the very first time in my life I am sticking to a plan that is totally focused on improving my own life quality.
Doesn’t sound like a big deal , but my life has been full of distinct trauma since I was a very small girl. At the age of 7 I was hiding knives behind a furnace to prevent my parents from killing each other, I was calling the police , hiding with my sister in closets until the fighting was over. Of course we were abused as a side effect of the anger in the house. At the age of 9 my parents divorced and I basically became the caregiver of my little sister and my mother who could never cope with life. My father is an alcoholic and my mother has borderline personality disorder.
I moved out of my mothers home at the age of 17 due to her attempt to kill me with a steak knife. I moved into a lady’s home and became a live in babysitter for her 3 sons. I met my ex husband at the age of 19 and I started taking care of him, had my mother to manage in my life and my sister who is always extremely sick and needy, and unfortunately seems to be headed into her own world that has no connections. I had my first child at 25 and my second child at 27, I was a support professional in my career and also a friend that everyone turns too.
I am the rock for my family I always have been, I am a rock for my friends, they know I am there for them as long as they are making healthy choices and changes in their lives.
Somehow during all this, I never learned how to take care of me. I learned how to survive my life, cope with my pain, heal my friends, love my children and always be there for them.
So now I start with a clean slate, 41 years old and I am learning to walk. I am a beautiful, smart,strong woman who has never learned to walk…I thank Brandon for opening my eyes to the earliest stages of my life that were impacted by trauma and prevented me from developing properly.I used food to soothe my emotions and drown my emotions! Never AGAIN!
The woman I will introduce to the world in November will never be stopped from success ever again! She will be a complete person with all of the layers and enough of a selfish streak to always take care of myself first!