Venting to prevent emotional eating!

venting

I have to get this out, the stress I felt after the appointment at sick kids yesterday is creating havoc internally. I went into this appointment hoping that the new symptoms that megan is encountering would spur them into taking actions for further diagnosis with the hope that there are now indicators to point at the root cause. Purple spots of dizziness that blind her and are not related to migraine headaches, they disable her for a minute or 2 and then it clears and she can continue to make her way to her room with the dizziness. The light headedness when she turns her head left to right on top of the dizziness is also brand new. The dizziness prevents her from walking without wall or chair or person support and it has been ongoing since September. Other illnesses have proceeded this for the last 2 years!

The reaction by Sick Kids Hospital was not one of concern, it was wow megan you lost a little weight and you look happy. She is on antidepressants so yes she is coping better with this illness but she is far from happy, she does not speak up and correct them she just sits and stews and i know she is thinking they doesn’t understand her at all and she is right.

His suggested plan of action…. get her eyes checked by an optometrist. That was IT!

I waited for a moment hoping to hear him say and we need to get her looked at by neurology again , but he didn’t say it. So I asked if we needed to have her seen by them and he said we can do that and is following up with a referral back to the doctor who saw her in December while she was at the hospital.

I know that if I had not said anything IT would NOT have happened. This creates problems because its clear that I am also viewed as panicking and that they are only doing these things to appease me! BULLSHIT if i am not the advocate for my child NO ONE else will do so. My ex just sits there and all actions make it clear he thinks its all in her head!  So with the doctors not pursuing the lines of investigation it once again reinforces in my ex that Megan has this all in her mind and i am just encouraging her BAD behaviour.

I am so sick of fighting this battle on my own, Sick Kids hospital should care more than they do and should be fighting just as hard to get megan healthy as i am.

When will I ever find a doctor who takes Megan seriously and truly fights on her behalf to get answers!

So how has this effected me, well tears are in my eyes, I could absolutely go pig out on something to try to calm my nerves but this time i will not. I am writing this out so that I can move on and keep fighting the battle that I am captain of, I will not let this derail my efforts to get myself healthy, never again will i give that ability to those in my life that disappoint me!

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