Guest Post – Heather Von St. James – Wife and Survivor of Mesothelioma

Heather asked if I could share her story and I am more than happy to!!

Heather Von St. James
Courageous Mother, Wife and Survivor of Mesothelioma

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”
-Mark Twain

I hear it often from people, how brave I am and how much courage I have. Sometimes I just have to laugh, because, going through what I’ve been through with my mesothelioma battle, I don’t feel very brave. At times, the fear was so overwhelming, all I could do was cry out to God to help me. I would love to say that through the last 7 years, I’ve learned to conquer my fears. After all, Lungleavin Day, our celebration of the anniversary of my extrapleural pneumonectomy surgery, is all about overcoming fears. But I still have my moments, more often than I would like to admit. I have the usual fears creep in, my “scanxiety” I’ve blogged about before, little pangs of fear before I fly, but the biggest fear I struggle with is the fear of something happening to my daughter. This is something that has plagued me since she was born.

I’ve always had what I jokingly call puke-aphobia and, with having a kid, you know it something you have to deal with. This year has been particularly brutal on the gastroenteritis front for my poor Lily. Three times she has been sick this year in as many months. When she got sick the third time, the fear reared its ugly head in a big bad way. So much that I took her to the doctor and insisted he do a battery of tests to rule out anything. The thing I was most afraid of? Yep, cancer. Having dealt with cancer myself, and knowing so many others, my hypochondriac mind went right to the worst-case scenario. My husband, bless his heart, is always able to bring me back around to reasonable thinking. Although he understands why I go to the worst-case scenario, he doesn’t indulge it, and his voice of sound reason helps so much to calm me. Except in this case. I could not shake the feeling that something was seriously wrong. Turns out he was right. She is a perfectly healthy 7-year-old little girl. Every single test came back as normal as normal as could be and, for some reason, she has just gotten sick a lot this year.

The fear is crippling. The anxiety it causes makes my life miserable and those around me even more so. It is something that I have vowed to work on this year to not let the fear get out of control. Someone told me once that the word “FEAR” is an acronym for “False Evidence Appearing Real”, and when you think about it? It is TRUE!! The fear is almost always worse than what I’ve imagined and blown out of proportion in my mind. I did something this time that was not easy for me to do. I asked for help from people who I trust and admire, and their guidance and prayer really helped me overcome this obstacle. They gave me some tools to use to stop the cycle and basically send that fear packing. Frankly, God is the one who gives me tremendous peace. I find that prayer and reading His word, writing scriptures that speak to me, and keeping them in a little notebook for my use is a way for me to keep grounded.

With Lungleavin Day coming up, the opportunity is here to write our fears on a plate and smash them into the fire, I’m going to once again take control of my emotions and overcome. I know I have the power to do it; sometimes it is just making the choice to do so.

I hope you too will do something on February 2nd to overcome your fears in the spirit of Lungleavin Day. If breaking a plate is over the top, I find that a paper plate works great, and burning it, or tearing it into hundreds of pieces. If you struggle with fear, no matter what it is, taking control, finding the root of it, and addressing it helps takes it away. I also find humor is a great way to conquer fear, hence “LUNGLEAVIN DAY” It was born out of the desire to make something funny out of something tragic. It is the day my lung left my body.

For this, my 7th Annual Lungleavin Day, I’m conquering fear by surrounding myself with amazing people and sharing our night with anyone who wants to join in. I hope you can join us. Go to my Facebook fan page to join the Lungleavin Day Event and we will be live webcasting on the night of February 2nd, 2013 6:00 pm to whenever the last plate is broken (Central time).

I hope you, too, find something healing about the day just like we do. Together, we will make 2013 fabulous.

Read more: http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/heather/fear.htm#ixzz2J0nHx1ru

A Real Friend

In my life I have met 2 people like this. Who could read me completely from the moment we met. Who can see my walls and challenge me to to take them down to reveal the inner Michelle who is hidden to protect myself.

This is my thank you to them!

Sometimes you know that things are meant to be

Sometimes things just fit and no issues can you see

You can’t remember feeling this safe, this whole

They envelope your heart, your spirit your soul

They come in like a whisper and become every breath

Not with effort , not with pain, just comfort and peace

They have been here before , you know that is true

They know you to well, they can read every clue

Were they part of a life from long ago

Have they found you again to sooth your soul

Friends like this are so very rare

Never reject them , be brave and prepare

For the friendship so deep you can’t hide how you feel

They will see it , they will challenge it , make sure that its real

This is honest and pure, its acceptance we desire

They can see your dark side and your sweet side,

They can see your mistakes and celebrate your wins

They can give you a shoulder, they can wipe away tears

They can hold you so tight and they can eliminate fears

They make you see yourself as you really are

They call “LIES” to the inner voices that say you aren’t

This is your best friend, the one you should be

To yourself, to you, from inside your soul

They are external but a part of you

The best part of you

My Perfect Spiritual Experience

Would you return to any location or time in your life to relive an experience, to build on an experience or to explore an experience further where would you go?

For me this happened during a very tulmuluos time in my life, my ex husband and I had gone away on a cruise. I almost didn’t go on this cruise with him. At christmas that year he had presented me with tickets to the cruise claiming he wanted to save our marriage and that this trip would be a fresh start for us.  At Christmas I was willing to take that chance, we had both just confessed that we had affairs, we had both hit bottom. I had just lost my job of 13 years and I needed something to look forward too.

A month after Christmas my ex was drinking heavily one night and chose to complete a bottle of rum. He came up to our bedroom and forced himself on me. This was an angry experience with him yelling at me to say he was a better man than the affair, he ignored my tears and had his way with me.

A month after that experience my ex had stopped drinking , a promise to me that nothing like that would ever happen again. I was scared of him not knowing if he would repeat the experience not fully trusting that he would stop drinking. Now I was scheduled to go on a cruise with him and pretend everything was rosy.

I went on the cruise knowing that I would find every possible activity i could. My goal was to stay busy and  not have too much alone time with him. I did Bingo, Wine Tasting, and made sure we took tours at every port. Overall, I was nervous on this trip. I wanted to believe in my ex but my anxiety level was too high to trust him. We had some good times on the cruise, we went to some cool ports. Before we left I had searched each of the islands we would be visiting looking for the best spots to take excursions. I found Magen’s Bay in St. Thomas it was listed as one of the top 10 beaches in the world.  I decided that we would have to visit this beach.

The day that we went to that beach doesn’t generate memories of the morning on the boat. I can only assume a peaceful breakfast with my ex and getting ready to leave the cruise boat for the taxi to the beach.  We brought towels for the beach and laid down. It was beautiful in a little cove waters were pure blue and green and mountains surrounded the beach. Very few people were there , a smattering of tourists and no vendors selling their wares. At some point I went into the water.. I remember the water was the perfect temperature and inviting me in further. I went deeper and laid down in a back float. At some point while I was on my back I noticed tears streaming down my face. I was looking up to the sky and I honestly for the first time in my life I felt god in that moment. God was reassuring me, telling me I would be ok and not to give up. I felt a warmth run through me and the tears kept flowing. I know God was there , I have never been a fan of the church, Bad experiences in my childhood make me not trust the church. I always believed in God. I always knew that there was something bigger than me, bigger than my life experience happening. This was the moment God felt it was important for me to know he sees me.

If I ever remarry, I want to remarry on that beach. If I ever have a chance for a vacation on an island I have to go back to Magen’s Bay. It is my spot in the world. It is where God and I had our only conversation and I need to be there again to feel that sense of calm through my body. that full level of love from God.

My life still has lots of roller coasters but this is my moment in time that I can go back to whenever I feel overwhelmed. This is my spot.

This is where I would return too…Where would you go?

A long weekend off Happy Birthday Canada!

I had worked a ton of hours in  the month of June to deal with the financial challenges I talked about in my last blog. This weekend I was off for the first time for 3 days in a row that I can recall ..well that doesn’t include being sick I cherished these days, I knew I had worked hard to get to this long weekend and I wanted memories. Now of course this is a challenge when you don’t have money! But we made the most of it.

Friday night I finished at 6:30. I got home to a totally exhausted Megan who had a rough day with 35 campers that drove her nuts all day, we decided to go over to Swiss Chalet for dinner, its one of the few places that I know we can  go too and have a half way decent meal from a health perspective. She looked over at me and reminded me that while she is working with these children she is reminded that she will NEVER have children and if I wanted Grandchildren I better talk to her brother Alex.

This moment stuck out to me because with the challenges she has with her menstrual cycle being unanswered I am keenly aware that she may not have the ability to have children due to her health. I was preparing myself for that when I considered that she may have PCOS and I still think its a possibility. We will be getting to a specialist about that problem this month and I truly look forward to an answer for the constant bleeding she has had to endure since 2009.

We went to Jumbo Video where she got 2 classic movie rentals and a small poster of James Dean. This cost me about 15.00 total and I knew would make her happy.

I got prepared to handle fireworks and the impending fear and anger that it would cause in my puppy. I had purchased Rescue remedy drops to help calm him as I knew this long weekend would be full of them! We went home and decided to take Toby for a drive and see if we could find any fireworks that we could help him understand. We took him to the dog park first to get a bit of energy out of him and he had a blast. The people he jumped on however… did not like him so much. I really have to find a solution for his jumping up at people at the dog park. He is not being aggressive he just wants to play or say hi. But it really has to stop. We drove around aimlessly after the dog park and did not find fireworks. Went home at 10 and settled in for the night.  No fireworks were heard!

Saturday morning we decided to take Toby to the off leash dog BEACH in Grand Bend. This was an hour drive from our house and Toby as a little puppy always got car sick. So we were a little nervous that he would struggle with this long of a drive. Toby did great on our way to the beach. The beach cost me 16.00 to get into the provincial park. We kept Toby on his leash and Megan went into the lake with him first. He was a little tentative initially at the waves lapping up at him. The water was not deep and he was also very confused as to whether he should swim or walk. He chose to jump over the waves instead. Was very funny watching him leap. I went out with Toby next and decided to let him off leash. He focussed on a dad and son who were throwing a football and he was leaping between them trying to catch up with it. He was in puppy heaven. This looked like we were going to have a great time. I brought him back to the beach and Megan took him out again. When Megan brought him back she took a seat on the blanket beside me. We were both soaking wet in our clothes as it didn’t occur to us that we would be going so far into water with toby.

We were about to relax when Toby saw a dog that he wanted to play with. All of a sudden he breaks free of his leash. At least I thought it was his leash, Megan yelled mom he broke his collar!! OH NOOO!!! Toby was taking off like a bat out of hell! He was leaping in the water and chasing people that had toys! How the heck were we going to catch our WET, slippery, crazy collarless puppy!!! After what seemed like forever a man was able to grab him around stomach and Megan got to him and pulled him back to shore by the scruff of his neck!! I took the leash and left over collar and tied it around his neck as tightly as I could. Then Megan and I soaking wet and covered in Sand slowly made our way back to the car with our naughty puppy.  Toby is not meant to be at the off leash beach yet! Maybe next summer!

It was about 4:30 and we were headed back to London. We realized we would have to pick up a new collar for Toby before we went home.  I was a bit worried that stores might be closed by the time we got back to London. We stopped in a small town named Forest. We got some bottles of water and asked the girl if there was a pet store in town. She laughed and said not in this town. As we pulled out of the drive thru I saw a sign for Canadian Tire. I knew that Canadian Tire Had to have a pet section especially without a pet store in the town.

We pulled up to the smallest Canadian Tire Store I have ever seen. Think of a corner store hardware store and that was about the size of it. Megan doubted I would find a collar in this store but I had to try.  I got out of the car and my pants weighed a ton as they were soaking wet! I could only imagine how silly i looked! I got inside looked around and got a bit worried that Megan might be right. I went up the first aisle and saw camping equipment, tools, paint I had hit the back of the store in less than a minute. I start heading down the only other aisle and I see car parts, accessories, fishing accessories. I just about gave up when I saw a box of catfood in the middle of an aisle. I headed for the cat food and prayed I would find a collar. They had them! Thank god! I looked at the medium size ones and realized that they might be too small. So I went with the large and hoped I could get it down to fit Toby’s neck.

Got it back to the car and started tightening it around my confused puppy. Got home and settled in to make dinner and then rest for the remainder of Saturday night.  I was looking at Twitter when I noticed that a number of my twitter friends were on their way to a church right by me for fireworks! These fireworks would be within walking distance of my home and would be VERY loud for Toby!  I got the rescue remedy out and started reading the label. I gave him 10 drops at 9 pm starting to settle him down before they started. At 9:45 I gave him another dose in peanut butter and got him upstairs in my room. I knew that I could have the air conditioner, Fan and I could play music on my Iphone Making my room as noisy as possible. I filled his water bowl and added 10 more drops of the rescue remedy and waited for the fireworks to begin. Overall this went pretty well. Toby did bark occassionally but thanks to noise level in my room only a couple of the fireworks caused a reaction.

Sunday was Canada’s 145th birthday. We were both tired from our adventures with toby the day before so we decided to stay home during day and drive to fireworks during the evening. We watched the Euro Cup and saw Italy get slaughtered. It was hard not to feel bad for them . The teary faces were so touching. The media certainly enjoy showing people with devastated emotions on their faces. The Spainards were so excited and happy. Megan and I decided to drive downtown to see if there were celebrations. We also looked for any of the Italian flags that had been on cars so proudly for the last 2 weeks. We did not see one italian flag. We did see some Spain fans waving flags out of cars. walking down the main street of London cheering. It was wonderful to see so much excitement and it hit me with just how beautiful it is to be living in Canada where you can have every culture and appreciate the celebrations that we get to watch due to our openess to them in our society.  This was also pride day in Toronto where people who are gay, lesbian, transgender can go and celebrate who they are and the freedom they have here to marry without society telling them who they are allowed to marry. This makes me proud to be a Canadian, free health care makes me proud, our immigration policies make me proud. I truly love being Canadian!

Sunday night we decided to get Toby in the car with the rescue remedy and take him to see fireworks. Megan really wanted to see them so really this was so Megan was not missing out of them due to our dog! I was not sure how Toby would react. We were going to keep him in the car and turn up radio loud so he could see them but not hear them as much.  We found a parking spot in the raised parking lot of the mall next to fireworks. They started and Toby didn’t react. I actually saw Toby watching the fireworks. I don’t know how much he could see them but he did seem transfixed. Again thanks to the radio he only heard a couple of the really loud ones. But he didn’t bark. The only thing that made him bark was the people walking who he could not get access too!  We got home and as we got out of the car we heard loud fireworks. Toby did not react at all! We got in the house and the sounds continued. Toby barked a couple times but overall ignored them. I think he actually learned something with seeing the reason for the loud noises he has been hearing.  I guess we will find out the next time there is a firework weekend…I suspect that is August 1st here in Canada!

Happy birthday Canada we had a memorable weekend and I hope you did too!!

Tell the Truth to Yourself About Yourself! Iylana Vanzant

I loved the energy of Iylana…dancing and clapping her way from the back of the auditorium this must have taken her almost 10 minutes due to the 8500 people in the room trying to get her attention! Once she got to the stage she commanded our attention. Her voice so powerful her spirit so strong!

She called us Golden , demanded we be golden! I felt golden in her presence! She told us about how her older brother called her ugly as a child and because she looked up to him she believed him. Until she was 30 and then she decided she was going to be beautiful on her terms and this is something I can relate to so strongly.

She kept telling us that we need to tell ourselves the truth about ourselves. Only when we accept our weaknesses as being human can we really be complete. Ego prevents us from facing the truth about ourselves.

I had only heard about Ilyana Vanzant for the first time when I saw the lifeclass.  I may have seen her on Oprah 10 years ago but I know my ego was running my life 10 years ago and I could not have truly heard her . She has been to hell and back like me with tragedies and losses throughout life.

I had a mother who called me bitch, slut, liar, worthless more times than I ever heard a positive. I still carry that belief somewhere inside me and that is a truth I have to tell myself.

I had a father who judges women based on appearance and he judged me for being overweight. I carry that inside me and I am overweight despite him, probably wanting him to love me and accept me regardless of my external size.  That is a truth that just bubbled to surface and is bringing tears to my eyes at work.

I need to explore that truth more. That it generated emotion where my mothers words generate nothing, it is worth pursuing.

I am not in touch with my mother who has deteriorated into mental illness and has not wanted to talk to anyone in family in over 12 years.  She tried to kill me at 17 years old and flew into rages regularily. I have not talked to her since 1999.

I am not in touch with my father who chose to testify against my sister in a custody case which dropped the hammer on my sister having little or no access to her own children. I need to forgive him. I had bottled up years of abuse and lack of boundaries with my father and wrote him a letter in 2006 indicating that I could no longer see him as my father, he brought nothing positive into my life and was bringing pain to my sister and I.  I told him I would always love him. We have not spoken since 2006.

I have a tentative relationship with my sister. I feel for her and she lives with chronic illness and personality issues that make it difficult to manage. I always feel that my sister takes energy from me. I never feel that she deposits anything into my life. I know she would say the same about me.  We are the product of 2 parents that should never have had children. We were played against each other growing up , we were rarely on the same side. She was the good girl with the good grades I was the bad girl always testing boundaries.

I treat myself terribly. I pick at my skin and have since I was a little girl. Always trying to cause more pain to myself than anyone around me could cause. It is a soothing to me and a compulsion that I have told family doctor I want to address.

I am lazy with housework it drives my daughter crazy. She wants a perfect mom who cooks, and cleans. I am a far from perfect person who finds it difficult to generate energy to go clean the kitchen after I cook a meal. It is something I have to work on for her happiness. No excuses for this I just don’t like cleaning! I don’t mind that there is a bit of a mess in my home. I am far from a hoarder, but it hurts her that I do not seem to care that it bothers her so much.

I know a ton about nutrition and I know exactly how foods negatively hurt the body and I am getting better at avoiding the things that hurt me but its not easy as the feeling of hurting myself is comforting.

I am afraid my bubble of accomplishments will always burst. I expect people to find out I am false. I expect people will all eventually reject me or I will always reject them.  I need to get rid of this wall that prevents me from being the best me possible.

What truth about yourself are you willing to tell yourself publicly?

Thank you Ilyana for stirring this pot!

 

 

 

 

65 years together!! Happy Anniversary to my grandparents!

This Sunday my kids and are driving to Lindsay Ontario to suprise and celebrate 65 years of marriage and their upcoming 90th birthdays.

My grandparents married for 65 years!

I know my grandmother used to get on facebook but now that she is in a retirement home she does not have her computer anymore. So pretty sure I am safe to write a blog about it today without spoiling the surprise factor!

5 years ago I remember going to their 60th Weddinmg Anniversary party and being so relieved that my grandfather was still with us to celebrate that milestone.

My grandfather has had so many problems that have put him in hospital , so many times called to his bedside worried that this might be the last time I see him. He is a fighter, a trooper, with all of his mind still quick and active! He is tiny and he gets fed up with constantly being sick and not being able to do the things he loves! My grandfather is loved by everyone who meets him. He has a quick dry humor, the nurses flirt with him, He loves crosswords and I am certain that keeps his mind quick!

My grandmother has been slightly healthier, she has been the caretaker for my grandfather. Over the last year we have seen changes in her. its clear her mind is muddied. She gets paranoid that the nurses and volunteers at the retirement home are stealing her drugs or they are trying to hurt her. She is very forgetful and thinks that they are also crank calling her to disturb her. Its a sad time for my grandmother as she struggles in the retirement home to get comfortable and constantly asks to leave.

But my grandparents have been together for 65 years. They still love each other very much and these issues are expected when you get to be 90 years old.

Neither of their children were able to stay married to the men they married. My sister and I are both divorced,  My aunts kids are young adults and starting their journeys with partners and i hope they will be able to get to 65 years.

This is so rare today and to know that they still love each other is also inspiring. I saw so much clear evidence of that love in the last year with both grandparents spending time in the hospital. Seeing the other one worry and try to spend every moment together reminds me what true love really is.

My heart is warm, I am inspired and they keep me trying to find a love that will even come a mile close to what they have found!

The Ring – Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time she was married to a man with a drinking problem.

Once upon a time she chose to have an affair

Once upon a time the man also had an affair

Once upon a time they tried to save the marriage

Once upon a time she apologized

Once upon a time he could not forgive

Once upon a time he drank way to much

Once upon a time he sexually assaulted me

Once upon a time he regretted

Once upon a time he gave up drinking

Once upon a time he begged for forgiveness

Once upon a time he bought her a ring to apologize

Once upon a time he gave up trying to save marriage

Once upon a time he moved to porn

Once upon a time he started emotionally abusing her

Once upon a time he was obsessed

Once upon a time she gave up

Once upon a time she lost the ring

Once upon a time she found the ring

Once upon a time she found peace in herself

Once upon a time she knew she was doing the right things

Once upon a time she has confidence

Once upon a time she has strength

Once upon a time she can wear the ring again

Rare Good memories with my Mother!

My mother has severe mental illness and did throughout my childhood this created a generally negative childhood filled with manipulation , violence, anger, abuse. However, I was asked by a blogging fan if I had any positive memories of her. Thank you for this idea it is cathartic for me to consider the positive memories as they are sadly easily forgotten in the drama that was my life.

My mother loved water fights. She would fill spray bottles and chase my sister and I around until we were all soaking wet and laughing. I remember at least a few of these moments and they were happy ones.

My mother went through a very positive period after she spent 6 weeks in hospital and was away from my abusive father. We would go to Mariposa music festival, we met some of her dates who would take us to movies and to china town, we went to Ontario place and the Zoo too.  She loved taking us out at this point I would have been around 10 years old.

She thought i was beautiful so she took me to CBC to interview to be on a TV show. I didn’t get it but i felt special.

My mother went back to school at Seneca College when I was 14 , she was incredibly happy during this period I thought she must have been having an affair with a student there, but whatever caused it she was happy. She would take me to concerts, movies, to meet musicians because she was working on the newspaper and would have to cover events.

When I turned 16 she arranged a sweet 16 party for me at a community centre, I must have had 50 friends there and a DJ, it was a very special night and I will always be thankful for that party.

After I gave birth to Alex I was really scared when she said she wanted to come spend a week with me. She was very supportive and was even there on a day that Alex refused to breastfeed and she walked alex around as I tried desperately to put milk in bottles.

As Alex grew and Megan was born she seemed to truly be happy, when she was around them you would find her on the floor playing games with them, she would take them to plays, to meet television characters, she would do crafts with them, to see my mother during this time you would not have known there was a mental illness lurking under her skin waiting to come out again.

My children have very positive memories of my mother, sadly she came out of their lives about 11 years ago and mental illness has kept her away from my sisters children and the family overall since that point.

I would never steal those memories for my kids and I am thankful for the positive memories that I can recall.

Thanks for asking!

Happy Mothers day all!

Michellle

Join me in defining a path…..you have nothing to lose

I need to first take you back to where I was last August.

 I had been unemployed for 5 months, I was getting a few interviews but nothing materialized from them. 

I wanted to start a charity for Fatty Liver Disease and put all my efforts into writing that book and raising money and awareness for that disease. I was helping out Liver Charity events whenever possible.

My daughter is and was chronically ill and had just gotten out of her wheelchair in late June. A severe case of vertigo had made it impossible for her to walk for 10 months. I had lived my life completely for getting her help, and helping her cope for those 10 months. I did not know what to do with myself now that she was walking ok.

I was on unemployment and that barely covered my rent and car payment. I had to lean on family for groceries, cellphone bill, and anything else that we had to buy.

I was in a place of shame asking for that money every month. Asking for charity is certainly one of the hardest things on self esteem.

I was going to see Brandon every week but it was starting to feel like it was a waste of my time. I couldn’t make anything happen for myself no matter what I was doing and I was finding it hard to be motivated.

Essentially I was lost and depressed, I was feeling hopeless , I did not see a direction.

Brandon made me define my 5 year plan. I choked and struggled with every step. I couldn’t see tomorrow nevermind 5 years from now. We rewrote it a few times and he laughed at me when I had set all my goals for my family. Getting Megan Healthy, Support alex in his college and career plans, Take care of my grandparents, my stepdad. I had to focus this on myself not on everyone around me.

Once I did this and I started taking the steps toward my 5 year goals magic occurred in my life. Within 3 weeks…

 I had a consulting client dropped in my lap

I had a goal of a temporary customer service job and I landed a career position instead.

I started writing my autobiography and was getting outside sitting in parks and starbucks enjoying it immensely.

So trust me when I said I saw results. I had to put it all aside to make room for my career position. This needed my focus and needed to become a permanent position for me. My 5 year plan could wait.

Now its time to rewrite those goals and start moving my life into its next phase.  Do you have a direction in your life? Do you see a path?  Do you know your purpose, what legacy will you leave behind?

I will break down every step to guide you and I will provide insights into my struggles as I approached this last  summer. I will ask advice from friends who are knowledgable on topics we cover so that you have as much information as I can find.

Join me, you will not regret it and what do you have to lose?

Defining your 5 Year Plan!

I am helping a friend of mine define this right now so thought I would share in my blog. Its important to have a direction in life and set goals that constantly move you forward. It is so easy to get lost in the day to day challenges of life and feel overwhelmed when things don’t go your way.  Doing this work can bring some direction and peace.

Before you go about setting goals you have to do a bit of work to see where you are today and where you want to be 5 years from now. Can you picture yourself  in 5 years?

I am going to provide the questions that were used to define my legacy with Brandon Krieger last August.  Once this step is done we can break those down into specific segments and create goals. 

I will personally be redefining this for my life alongside you. The goals I set last August have changed somewhat with a terrific fulltime job. I need to rethink and reprioritize things to see where my path now takes me.

My next blog I will share my results to these questions and I hope that helps you with yours.

Legacy

Define this by thinking through what your perfect life would look like.  Use what you know about yourself today and figure out how you can be the best possible you.

Look ahead 5 years and answer the following:

1. What is your Dream?
2. What makes you feel happy?
3.  Do you have a sense of purpose?
4. Where will you be?
5. What are you passionate about?
6. What types of people are you helping?
7. What do you value in others?
8. What are your working conditions?
9. What are your work responsibilities?
10. What is your income?

 

Core Values

Now look at your life today:

1. What is your purpose in life?
2. What are your physical needs?
3. What are your mental needs?
4. What are your time needs?
5. What is your natural rhythm (morning or night?)
6. What are your spiritual needs?
7. What are your space needs?
8. What are your family needs?
9. What are your cultural needs?
10. What are your social needs?

Blocking Factors

Think through the 4 S’s

Safety – do you feel safe in your life?

Security – Are you secure in what you have and provide?

Substance – Do you have everything you need to be successful?

Sex – Are your sexual needs fulfilled?

Think through Eating, moving and being healthy

Do you prioritize your body’s needs?

Are you managing Time effectively or is lots of time wasted?

What are your Fears? (False Evidence Appearing Real)

Write all of this down and feel free to email me your  results michelleclerm@gmail.com

I look forward to sharing goal setting next!