I am a single mom that is not currently in a relationship. I have been out of my marriage for 6 years and I have been out of any relationships for over a year. I am happy, I am successful in my life, I have 2 great teen kids that I am very proud of. I have a great job, I have great friends, I really am happy.
There is a part of me that wishes I was in a relationship , for the loving feelings, the feeling of being a part of something special, having someone to share moments with.
There is another part of me that says why on earth would I open up my happiness and bring someone into that circle. I see so much pain in my friends that have been going through tragic breakups. Do I risk opening myself to that?
Can it happen with all the easy ways to find someone more interesting on the internet?
Can it happen when insecurities make you wonder if your “partner” is using the internet to find someone else?
Can it happen when pornography is rampant on the internet and it creates unrealistic expectations of our partners?
Can it happen when a selfish world tells that our needs are all that matter?
I have seen people in relationships truly devastated by cheating, pornography including teen or other gravely inappropriate images, mental abuse, physical abuse, stalking,control issues and insecurities.
I do believe that the internet has made us less willing to settle which is a good and a bad thing. Good that we stick up for our rights and expectations but bad for making people truly stick to a relationship and fight for it.
Where does the line start to blurr, why do we throw a relationship away so easily now. Part of it is certainly that women are more self sufficient and are not as reliant on partners to provide financial security. If I have enough money to survive my day to day life and I find out my partner is lying or cheating I will be sending them to the curb.
I am also aware of true love relationships, I see a pattern within the ones that work.
1. They found love accidentally – not by meeting someone with the purpose of building the relationship.
2. They are focussed on working through issues and fighting for the relationship, not just walking away.
3. Both People are emotionally strong. They have an identity outside the relationship and do not give it up.
4. They respect each other. Its not a battle of one upmanship,they are a team.
5. They are good friends. They would choose to be friends outside the relationship and choose to remain so within it.
6. They trust each other. They are willing to tell the truth even though it might hurt. Words have to be chosen carefully but in a true love relationship its better to communicate then shove it back under the rug.
Yes it can happen, I have met lots of wonderful men and quite a few errm jerks. I have met most of these men online through various dating sites and even facebook. I have dealt with so many tragedies and issues in my life in this time period that I know I have not been in a place where I was meant to be in a relationship and thats likely why the right one has not been there for me.
I am no longer looking for a relationship. I will keep enjoying my life and if someone happens to trip into my happy world and captivates my heart and mind then so be it. I will meet friends and I will date, my expectation levels have just changed.
I will always take the risk for love if someone is willing to work as hard as I will ,to keep a relationship working.
So it’s not impossible, but the odds are really against you, and you will have to fight to keep it alive!
Thanks to my friends on facebook who